The Marriage Train

Same-sex couples are as happy, committed, and satisfied with their relationships as opposite-sex ones, according to two studies in the January issue of Developmental Psychology. If anything, concluded one study, “the lesbian couples were especially effective at resolving conflict.” The other found that “same-sex couples were more satisfied with their relationships, reported more positive feelings toward their partners, and reported less conflict than married heterosexual couples.”

While legal status was not the primary factor affecting same-sex relationships, “same-sex couples not in civil unions were more likely to end their relationships than same-sex couples in civil unions or married heterosexual couples. This suggests that protections offered by a legalized relationship may have an impact on same-sex couples.”

The annual British Social Attitudes report, out today, found that “the heterosexual married couple is no longer at the centre of UK life.” Two-thirds of those surveyed believe “there is little difference between being married and living together,” and only 28% think married couples are better parents than unmarried ones. Over half view a wedding “simply as a celebration.” In the U.S., author Stephanie Coontz wrote recently on “The Future of Marriage,” stating both that we should work to strengthen marriages and that marriage is no longer the central organizing principle for social policies.

Many same-sex couples are jumping on a train towards legal marriage, however slowly that train may be moving. There is more and more proof that our relationships are little different from those of opposite-sex couples, and I do think equality is in the future. Many opposite-sex couples, however, are on a train pulling away from the marital station, a station which seems less like Grand Central (or Victoria) and more like a smaller, albeit still respectable, one on a branch line.

Are same-sex couples “redefining” the station, then? Or, after finding it in a bit of disrepair and abandonment, are we just sprucing it up a bit, with a queer eye and a bevy of dykes with power tools?