If the L Word Characters Ran the Government

The L Word GovernmentIn this season of primaries and The L Word, I can’t help reprising and revising a post from last year: What if the characters on the show ran the U.S. government? We might get something like this:

  • President: Bette Porter. Power jobs, power suits, and an alpha personality make her a natural. Also, she once had sex with her TA, which is almost like having sex with an intern.
  • Vice President: Tina Kennard, because she and Bette still make one hot ticket.
  • Presidential Press Secretary: Alice Pieszecki, with her background in media and journalism.
  • Secretary of State: Shane McCutcheon, because it’s all about relations.
  • Secretary of the Treasury: Helena Peabody, whose ways with money are beyond compare.
  • Secretary of Defense: National Guard Captain Tasha Williams, who would definitely repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
  • Secretary of Education: Phyllis Kroll, Chancellor of California University, of course.
  • Head of Homeland Security: Kit Porter, who’s getting good with her gun.
  • Attorney General: Joyce Wischnia, “the best in the business” by her own admission.
  • CIA Director: Jenny Schecter, creepy and deceptive. (Ably assisted perhaps, by her on-screen assistant Adele, who has a few secrets of her own.
  • Chair of the National Endowment for the Arts: Jodi Lerner, an artist not afraid of controversy.

The official presidential anthem would, of course, be “L to the Chief.”

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