Soccer superstar Megan Rapinoe recently opined, “You can’t win a championship without gays on your team!” I don’t doubt that—and I’m also happy to see that many of the queer players this year in the Women’s World Cup are also moms!
I share this list not because everyone can or should aspire to be a parent. The world would be a better place, and children would be better off, if people didn’t feel pressured into becoming parents when they don’t want to—that way lies resentment. Seeing people who have chosen to become parents, however, who are also excelling at something else, gives me hope that it’s possible to find balance between being a parent and remaining one’s own person. Yes, there are things we all have to give up for our children. We can still hold on to some of our own dreams, however, and in doing so, set examples for our kids to pursue their own.
- Let’s start with U.S. head coach Jill Ellis and spouse Betsy Stephenson, who have a 14-year-old.
- Lorena Benítez (Argentina) and Verónica Rivero became parents of twins just about a month ago.
- Lisa Dahlkvist (Sweden) and Jessica Danielsson have one child, born in 2015.
- Katie Duncan (New Zealand) and Priscilla Duncan are expecting their first baby this month, so I’ll count them on this list.
- Isabell Herlovsen (Netherlands) and Christine Porsmyr had a child a year ago.
- Hedvig Lindahl (Sweden) and Sabine Willms have two children, ages five and two. Willms carried them both, but Lindahl has said she would like to do so for another one.
- Sherida Spitse (Netherlands) and Jolien van der Tuin have a two-year-old and are expecting their second child.
(Did I miss anyone? Please let me know!)
Looking back, too, here are a couple of great queer-mom moments from past Women’s World Cup players:
- Abby Wambach, two-time Olympic soccer gold medalist and FIFA World Player of the Year (2012), who is raising three children with Glennon Doyle Melton, uses the term “bonus mom” instead of “stepmom.” (Melton had the children in a previous relationship.) Last year, she gave the commencement speech at Barnard College that bears rewatching for many things, including her observation, “The fiercest leading I’ve ever seen has been done between mother and child. Parenting is no bench. It just might be the big game.”
- Casey Stoney, who captained England’s football (soccer) team in the 2012 Olympics and now coaches the Manchester United Women’s Team, has three children with Megan Harris, who was also a professional player. She’s been an advocate for mothers in women’s soccer (football), and in 2014 wrote a column for BBC Sport on “Why being a gay mum can help my England career.” Among other things, she says, “Having a family is just another part of the puzzle to complete my life.”
Thank you!!