Today is Gay Uncles Day, so here are some books by, for, and about gay (and other queer) uncles to help you celebrate these special people any day of the year!
Let’s start by noting that in many of these books, the uncle’s/uncles’ sexuality is unknown. Yes, many are in same-sex relationships, but it’s unclear if they are gay or bisexual. There’s also one book below about a nonbinary person who uses the title “uncle” along with “they/them” pronouns. I’m including these books as part of a general celebration of queer uncles, which seems to be how many folks are celebrating this holiday anyway. (And if you’re looking for nonbinary titles to describe a relationship with one’s siblings’ kids, try these, including “auncle” and “untie.”)
For Kids
- Uncle Bobby’s Wedding, by Sarah Brannen and illustrated by Lucia Soto (Little Bee: 2020). The revised edition of the 2008 book about a girl worried that her favorite uncle will no longer have time for her after he marries his boyfriend. The text has been updated in many small ways, and the original anthropomorphic guinea pigs have been replaced by human characters: a White girl and her uncles, one White and one Black. As Brannen told me, “Maybe animals made the story more accessible in 2008, but in 2020, it seems appropriate to let my characters inhabit their true form.” (If you love the guinea pigs, though—and they are adorable—you may be able to find a used copy of that edition.) In both editions, though, the focus is on the relationship between the girl and her uncle and how it evolves as their family expands.
- My Uncle’s Wedding, by Eric Ross and illustrated by Tracy K. Greene (self-published: 2011)). A boy learns what a wedding is all about as he helps his uncle and the uncle’s boyfriend prepare for theirs.
- Mini Mia and her Darling Uncle, written and illustrated by Pija Lindenbaum and translated from Swedish by Elisabeth Kallick Dyssegaard (R & S Books: 2007). Mia’s uncle is gay, and she resents his new boyfriend—but only because it means he doesn’t have as much time for her. All find a happy resolution, however. Out of print, but may be available used. (Similarities to Uncle Bobby’s Wedding are coincidental; this one was translated into English as Uncle Bobby was about to go into print.)
- Auntie Uncle: Drag Queen Hero, by Ellie Royce and illustrated by Hannah Chambers (Pow! Kids Books: 2020). A young boy loves his Uncle Leo, an accountant, and his Auntie Lotta, a drag queen, who are both the same person. He helps his “Auntie Uncle” stay true to both identities.
- Love Is in the Hair, written and illustrated by Syrus Marcus Ware (Flamingo Rampant: 2015)). A child is staying with her two uncles while waiting for the birth of a new sibling, and learns the stories of her family through the objects woven into the dreadlocks of one uncle’s hair. The uncles’ queerness is incidental; this is simply a charming tale of the way we collect, keep, and share family memories.
- What Are Your Words? A Book About Pronouns, by Katherine Locke and illustrated by Anne Passchier (Little, Brown: 2021). This story stars a nonbinary child named Ari, who is excited for the visit of Uncle Lior. Uncle Lior uses they/them pronouns, and every time they visit, they ask, “What are your words, Ari?” These words could be feelings, descriptive words, or pronouns. Sometimes Ari, whom we see dressed variously in pants, a dress, and a skirt, knows the answer right away, but today, the words aren’t there. Nevertheless, the two of them head out to their neighborhood barbeque, where they meet neighbors who use a variety of pronouns. Ari reflects that “sometimes I have to wait for my words to find me”—and in the end, they do. Today, Ari uses “they/them.”
(Also, if you’re wondering: There seem to be far fewer children’s books about queer aunts. The only one I can think of is Kira Down Under, by Erin Teagan and illustrated by Millie Liu (American Girl: 2020), published in conjunction with American Girl’s 2021 “Girl of the Year” doll Kira, about a girl’s adventures at her aunts’ wildlife sanctuary.)
For Grown-ups
- The Guncle Guide: Tips, Wisdom, Stories, and Advice for Everyone’s Favorite Family Member, by Glenn Garner (Skyhorse: 2020). Garner, the “proud guncle of 22 nieces and nephews,” offers tips and inspiration for any guncle, including quotes from famous guncles (James Baldwin, Oscar Wilde, RuPaul Charles, Ian McKellen, Harvey Milk, Lil Nas X, and more), advice on talking with your nieces and nephews about being gay and coming out (you or them!), stats on LGBTQ youth and mental health, how to spoil your nieces and nephews, the “ultimate guncle bucket list,” and more.
- The Gay Uncle’s Guide to Parenting: Candid Counsel from the Depths of the Daycare Trenches, by Brett Berk (Harmony: 2008). Aside from the title and author, there’s nothing particularly “gay” about this book, but Berk, who has 20 years of experience as a classroom teacher and preschool director, is full of good advice that many parents of all identities will find useful.
- And a novel: The Guncle, by Steven Rowley (G.P. Putnam’s Sons: 2021). Gay Uncle Patrick (or GUP), has always loved spending time with his niece and nephew, Maisie and Grant, when they come to visit him in Palm Springs for a week, or when he sees them in Connecticut for the holidays. But then tragedy strikes: Maisie and Grant lose their mother while Patrick’s brother has a health crisis of his own. Patrick is suddenly the children’s primary guardian. Despite his set of Guncle Rules, he is overwhelmed, having spent years grappling with the loss of his great love, a somewhat-stalled acting career, and a lifestyle not conducive to parenting. A guncle’s approach of treats and jokes isn’t going to cut it anymore, and Patrick has to gain a new sense of both responsibility and fallibility. Funny and touching.
Want to see photos of some real queer uncles, along with their thoughts about this role? Check out Gays With Kids’ post!