Today is Giving Tuesday, but I’m not going to ask you to give to any particular organizations. (There are any number of good ones to support with your time and/or money, and I hope you do.) Instead, I’ll once again share some of the ways my spouse and I have tried to show our son the importance of giving.
My spouse Helen and I have done a number of things over the years to try and teach our son (now in college) why giving matters:
- Ever since he was very young, we tried to set good examples of what it means to share—at home, with friends, in school, and beyond.
- We asked him to put spare change into a family collection. When it accumulated, we’d go to the store to purchase groceries for a local food pantry. I’d let him figure out what made sense to buy, in terms of perishability, value, and need. When he was younger, I’d guide him heavily; as an older teen, he needed much less help.
- We participated as a family in our Reform Jewish congregation’s social justice events, such as assembling lunches for a local transitional living center and distributing holiday groceries to homebound people in need.
- We had him collect his old clothes (and ours) so that we could bring them to a donation center each year.
- We asked for his input when we gave to organizations. Helen and I have a number of organizations we annually contribute to, but we also asked our son what type of organization he would like us to support. We thought it was important for him to see us making a habit of donating, but also wanted him to understand that he can give to causes that mean something to him.
- We made a point of having him do a social justice project as part of his bar mitzvah preparation—he chose to collect supplies for a local animal shelter and to volunteer there.
- When he was in high school, we encouraged him as he worked on the community service projects he chose as part of his graduation requirements, including preparing food for local people in need and distributing food on the street to people who were homeless.
- As he grew older, we tried to make him aware of the broader social systems that make giving a necessity. What makes some people financially insecure and others not? Are some people more or less likely to have opportunities in our society? What can change in a person’s life that may make them need charitable assistance? Which organizations are having a positive difference on civil and human rights? On medical progress? On the arts? Why is this needed? We didn’t tackle this all in one conversation, but as the opportunity arose, we tried to paint a broader picture.
These are hardly the only ways to instill giving habits in children, simply a few that we’ve tried in our household. However you choose to give today or any day, remember that you are setting an example for your children. May they grow up with a spirit of generosity, kindness, and justice.