I began Mombian 18 years ago today, and as any parent here in the U.S. can tell you, 18 is an age of significance. Here are some thoughts about reaching this milestone.
First, a big thank you to all of you who have read, shared, and commented on my work, spoken with me about your lives, and otherwise supported Mombian over the past 18 years. A special thanks, too, to my spouse, who has been patient with my many long hours of writing, and to my son, who was the initial motivation for this blog when he was two, and who remains an inspiration today as he moves into adulthood.
This blog, too, has changed and grown over the past 18 years. In the early years, as blogging itself was finding its footing, I posted not only news specific to LGBTQ families (which was much less covered by either general LGBTQ news sites or mainstream parenting sites), but also many general parenting tips and tricks, as I myself learned them as part of raising my son, who was two when the blog launched. The blog gradually delved deeper into political, legal, and news analysis, always with a queer parent’s lens, and added interviews with LGBTQ parents and leaders, shared LGBTQ family stories, and celebrated LGBTQ parents and our children making marks in the world. I also created LGBTQ Families Day (originally Blogging for LGBTQ Families Day) as a way of bringing together LGBTQ families and allies for a day of support and celebration as we raised our voices more loudly together than we could do apart.
I’ve also always looked at LGBTQ representation in children’s books and media—which was precious little when this blog began. That representation was growing, however, along with the visibility of real-life LGBTQ families. In January 2021, I launched my Database of LGBTQ Family Books to organize the growing number of book reviews I was doing and make it easier for others to filter and search for the titles and representation they sought. It began with just over 500 items; it now has more than 1300. It is, I believe, the largest, most current searchable database of LGBTQ books for ages 0 to 12, and also includes LGBTQ parenting books, kids’ music, and more. Helping people who want such items to find them feels like one of the most important things I am doing right now, given the level of attacks on these materials around the country.
I’ve also had the absolute honor of winning two GLAAD Media Awards for “Outstanding Blog,” in 2012 and 2023, and of receiving the Hostetter-Habib Family Award from Family Equality in 2018. I’ve never done this work for the accolades, but it’s gratifying and humbling to know that it continues to be valuable. And more than awards, the friendship and connections with so many of you gladdens and sustains me.
Much has improved for LGBTQ families over the past 18 years, including the spread of marriage equality, the growth of expanded legal recognition for LGBTQ parents, particularly nongenetic and nongestational ones; increased media representation of LGBTQ families in children’s books and television; a larger, more nuanced vocabulary to talk about LGBTQ identities (including parenting names); and the flourishing of many, many LGBTQ families.
Yet anti-LGBTQ legislation and rhetoric is in the midst of a resurgence. We’ve seen threats to marriage equality, parentage rulings against married, nongenetic queer parents, book bans, and many, many physical, verbal, and legislative attacks on transgender youth and adults. This blog can’t solve all of these problems—I am only one person, and not expert or authoritative in everything. I hope, however, that by continuing to offer news, information, resources, and occasional diversions for lesbian moms like myself, for other LGBTQ parents who find my work relevant, and for interested allies, this blog can play some small part in strengthening and connecting our community of LGBTQ families, helping us as we raise our children and seek to make the world better for them.
Another change in the past 18 years is that blogging is now part of a whole ecosystem of social media. Please also follow me on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, where you’ll not only learn when I post new things on the blog, but also see photos, shared content, and other stuff that I don’t necessarily mention here. (And if you’re already a follower, thanks—I’ll see you out there!)
Of course, 18 is a somewhat arbitrary milestone. Some parts of ourselves mature before then, some after. I suspect this blog will continue to evolve. Thank you again for reading and engaging with it. Let’s go make a better world for our children together.