One of the best pieces I’ve read this week is by a man who explains “How homophobia turned me against my gay mother.” Spoiler alert: He turned back—and in doing so, offers some very useful advice for all of us LGBTQ parents.
Think kids will be “confused” or harmed by learning that same-sex couples can marry? Think again. This delightful video from The Fine Bros “Kids React” series shows children ages 5 to 13 responding to viral videos of marriage proposals of same-sex couples — and clearly, most of them are not only okay with it, but excited for the couples. They give me hope for the future.
Congratulations to all of the same-sex couples in Minnesota and Rhode Island who may choose to marry starting today. And on ABC Family’s The Fosters, fictional moms-of-five Stef and Lena are getting married on this coming Monday’s episode. I thought I’d mark the happy occasions by posting a revised version of a column I did several years ago, about planning a wedding if you already have kids.
From the “how could I have missed this” files: While studies show [and they do] that children with same-sex parents are just as well-adjusted as those with different-sex parents, they might lead us to overlook the full experience of adopted children, wrote Frank Ligtvoet in the New York Times a few weeks back. Ligtvoet, a gay dad with two adopted children, reminds us that “motherless parenting is a misnomer.”
Sometimes, a piece of writing just makes me think. Chase Strangio’s “Making Room for More Impossible Decisions: Reflections on Being a Trans Parent” at HuffPo is one of them. Strangio gives much food for thought to parents across the LGBT spectrum and beyond, and calling for a greater understanding among parents of all types.
Australian filmmaker Maya Newell gave one of the best responses I’ve ever seen to the mistaken assertion that all kids need a mother and a father.
My son is turning nine soon, and it frightens me. Nine is perilously close to ten, first of the double digits, rubbing shoulders with that phantasm of every parent’s nightmares, puberty. Nine seems like the last hurrah of young childhood before it gradually starts to give way to the moods, interests, and concerns of an older phase of life.
I have a love-hate relationship with the term “LGBT parenting.” On the one hand, I often say I write a column about LGBT parenting, insofar as I write for and about LGBT people who are parents. On the other, I believe that we LGBT folks change diapers, sing lullabies, help with homework, and drive to soccer practice like any other parent. There’s no “LGBT” way (or even, separately, lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender ways) of doing those things—which makes me doubt whether there is such a thing as “LGBT parenting.” Is there?
(I wrote this for my newspaper column a couple of months ago, but never posted it. Enjoy.)
This column marks five years of Mombian columns for me. Looking back, it’s been a time of tremendous change for LGBT families and for me personally. I’ve learned a lot over these years, both as a parent and a chronicler of our LGBT parenting experiences. The best part of doing this column has been speaking with a wide variety of LGBT parents, authors, activists, and others working towards equality for our families. If my words here mean anything, it is because they have been informed by theirs. Here are a few of the things I’ve gleaned along the way.
Although it’s been nominated for four Academy Awards, including Best Picture, most critics feel The Kids Are All Right, Lisa Cholodenko’s film about two lesbian moms, their teen children, and their sperm donor, won’t take home any prizes tonight. That’s okay. Whether it wins, or even if you disliked it (as many in the lesbian
