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10 Things TO Say to Lesbian Moms

It may not quite be an Internet meme, but several writers in the past month have offered their thoughts on what not to say to lesbian moms. Judy Gold at HuffPo gives a personal story about “The Question You Should Never Ask a Lesbian Mom”; Jeanne Sager at The Stir lists “5 Things Never to Say to Lesbian Moms”; and L. A. Pintea at Parents.com relates “10 Things You Shouldn’t Ask a Lesbian Mom.” It’s enough to make people think they should never approach us. I’d like to turn things around here, and suggest several things you should say to lesbian moms.

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Birthday Pride

My son is turning nine soon, and it frightens me. Nine is perilously close to ten, first of the double digits, rubbing shoulders with that phantasm of every parent’s nightmares, puberty. Nine seems like the last hurrah of young childhood before it gradually starts to give way to the moods, interests, and concerns of an older phase of life.

LGBT Parenting By Any Other Name

I have a love-hate relationship with the term “LGBT parenting.” On the one hand, I often say I write a column about LGBT parenting, insofar as I write for and about LGBT people who are parents. On the other, I believe that we LGBT folks change diapers, sing lullabies, help with homework, and drive to soccer practice like any other parent. There’s no “LGBT” way (or even, separately, lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender ways) of doing those things—which makes me doubt whether there is such a thing as “LGBT parenting.” Is there?

The Ultimate New England Muffins

I haven’t posted a recipe in a while, so here’s one I made this past weekend for the Massachusetts State Muffin (corn). It’s enhanced by the Massachusetts State Fruit (cranberries), and sweetened by that most New England of sweeteners, maple syrup. If I were to put any more New England in it, I’d have to add clams—but don’t worry, I won’t.

Five Years of Parenting and Progress

(I wrote this for my newspaper column a couple of months ago, but never posted it. Enjoy.)

This column marks five years of Mombian columns for me. Looking back, it’s been a time of tremendous change for LGBT families and for me personally. I’ve learned a lot over these years, both as a parent and a chronicler of our LGBT parenting experiences. The best part of doing this column has been speaking with a wide variety of LGBT parents, authors, activists, and others working towards equality for our families. If my words here mean anything, it is because they have been informed by theirs. Here are a few of the things I’ve gleaned along the way.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Says “It Gets Better”

My last name is the same as that of the famous reindeer. I also have red hair—which meant I was the target of quite a number of  “Rudolph the Red-Haired Person” jabs when I was a kid. It wasn’t bullying, but it was annoying, until I learned to embrace the difference and just lord it

Elderly hands

How to Help Aging LGBT Parents

How do we help our parents as they age? For adults with non-LGBT parents, there are plenty of resources on how to help parents through the various legal, financial, and emotional issues of growing old. Search the Web or your favorite online bookstore for “aging parents,” and you’ll be swamped with results.

For adults who wish to help their LGBT parents, however, the resources are far fewer. And while many of the issues older LGBT and non-LGBT people face are the same, some are not.

Quote of the Week: Our Job as Mothers

Tina Fakhrid-Deen writes at The Root of the struggles both she and her lesbian mother have faced and how they have helped each other through them. She offers this wonderful advice: Our job as mothers is to provide shoulders for our children to stand on and pray that they grow wings to outsoar us. The

New Year's hat and champagne bottle

Eleven LGBT Parenting Resolutions for 2011

The end of November through early January is one big party in our multi-celebration family, with Thanksgiving leading to Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year’s, and my spouse’s birthday in quick succession. In between finding room for our son’s new Lego sets and making sure the cats don’t eat the tinsel off the tree or knock over the menorah, however, I like to think about resolutions for the coming year. Here are 11 for 2011 that I offer as suggestions for other parents as well—some generic, some with an LGBT twist.

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