My son is in college now, but it feels like just yesterday he was in preschool and my day of queer parenting looked something like this.
- Get up and attempt to complete shower before son wakes.
- Still dripping water, throw on a robe and go into his room when he calls. Herd him into the bathroom for his morning routine. Gently put aside the three books and four toys he picks up along the way.
- Dash back to own bathroom and try to finish dressing before son does.
- Hope there’s milk in the fridge for breakfast. Keep son from dumping entire box of granola into his cereal bowl.
- Realize there are only 15 minutes left in which to brush teeth and use the bathroom, get son to do the same, make sure he washes his hands afterwards, and drive to son’s Music Together class.
- Dance. Sing. Or pretend I can.
- In the next 45 minutes: Wrangle now-dancing son back into car. Drive to the bagel shop for lunch since that’s faster than going home. Find parking spot two blocks away. Shepherd son on random walk to bagel shop. Order bagels, eat, make another bathroom stop, and get son to afternoon preschool only three minutes late.
- Drive home. Throw laundry in washer. Blog for two hours.
- Grab keys to go pick up son. Realize laundry is still in washer. Bolt to laundry room and throw into dryer.
- Drive back to school (obeying all traffic regulations). Explain to son that we can’t stay and play on the playground in the rain.
- Head home again. Check e-mail while son has snack. Assist on Lego spaceship construction project, treasure-map drawing, and major fire-and-rescue operation involving Tonka action figures and a teddy bear.
- Start dinner while son finishes Lego project. Have him help with green beans once he gets bored with bricks.
- Kiss spouse hello when she gets home; eat dinner.
- Build more Lego creations and watch a short video as a family. Clean up dishes while spouse takes son upstairs for bath and another round of toothbrushes and toilets.
- Head upstairs for good-night routine. Make mental note to clean up cat hairball in the hallway.
- Read bedtime story. And another. And one more.
- Sing bedtime song—really a form of musical improv based on son’s whim of the evening. (“Mommy, I want a song about a pumpkin, a magnifying glass, and an airplane.”)
- Sit down to blog again while watching the Red Sox beat the Rockies. Keep the volume off so I can write and son can sleep.
- Breathe a sigh, knowing I’ve made it through another day of the Homosexual Agenda.
- Remember there’s unfolded laundry in the dryer.
- Step on hairball on the way to get it.
This is a repost (with slight tweaks) from many years ago, but since my spouse and I brought our son back to college recently, I’m feeling nostalgic. Here’s to all of the queer parents, particularly those with young children, just trying to get through the day. You can do it!