November 18: A Very Queer Day

Today, November 18, marks at least six different notable anniversaries and observances for the LGBTQ community. Do you know them all? (OK, one is purely personal; it’s the “Massaversary” of when my spouse and I made it legal in Massachusetts. But even that is related to another event….)

The First U.S. State to Affirm Marriage Equality

Twenty years ago today, the Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court ruled in Goodridge v. Department of Public Health that same-sex couples have the right to marry. It was the first U.S. state to acknowledge this. (The first marriages didn’t actually start until six months later, however, on May 17, 2004.)

This week, in commemoration of the groundbreaking ruling, Goodridge plaintiff Gina Nortonsmith told GLAD of her and her spouse Heidi’s participation in the case:

I wanted our kids to have the same safety and security in their family as other kids, and I believed that the constitution included us and that I could be part of making that movement toward our inclusion happen. I’m proud that our sons live in a world where they know their parents stood up for the right of people to love whomever they love.

Of course, LGBTQ parents and our children are still fighting for full parentage equality in the state, as I explained earlier this week. Nevertheless, marriage equality was a significant step forward in recognition of our families.

The End of Section 28

On the same day as Goodridge, England and Wales repealed the anti-gay Section 28, the 1988 law that said that local authorities shall not “intentionally promote homosexuality … [or] promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship.” The law had been the fear-driven response of Margaret Thatcher’s Conservative Party to the AIDS crisis of the 1980s and a growing LGBTQ equality movement. The party had also used the fear of LGBTQ-inclusive books in schools as a wedge issue during the 1987 election. Section 28 had a definitively negative impact on LGBTQ people and families, as this recent exhibit makes clear, and its repeal throughout Great Britain in 2003 (Scotland had repealed it in 2000) was indeed something to celebrate.

Frank Kameny’s Fight and LGBTQIA+ STEM Day

Even earlier, on November 18, 1960, astronomer Frank Kameny began the process of appealing to the U.S. Supreme Court after being fired from his job in the Army Map Service for being gay. The court didn’t take the case, but this was the first time someone had pursued a civil rights claim there based on sexual orientation. Kameny went on to leave a lasting legacy of LGBTQ activism. In his honor, Pride in STEM has declared November 18 to be LGBTQIA+ STEM Day. (See my post, “Science Gets Queer,” for some fun stuff about LGBTQ families and STEM.)

National Adoption Day

Additionally, the Saturday before Thanksgiving is National Adoption Day. This year, it falls on November 18, so adoptive families and those who love them have an additional reason to celebrate today! This isn’t a purely LGBTQ observance, of course, but since same-sex parents are seven times more likely to raise adopted and foster children than different-sex ones, it feels like it warrants special notice by the LGBTQ community. (Here are some starter resources for LGBTQ families considering adoption.)

Transgender Awareness Week

This week also marks Transgender Awareness Week, a time to both celebrate trans identities and (for us cisgender folks) to learn more about how to support transgender people and their families, especially given the awful surge of anti-transgender legislation and policies around the country.

Our Massaversary

My spouse Helen and I didn’t intend to have our legal wedding on such a significant date. We were living in New York at the time. I had been staying home with our son when Helen got a new job in Massachusetts. Her new company no longer offered health insurance for unmarried partners, post-marriage equality, so we had to marry for me to be covered. We therefore planned for and had our wedding in the span of two weeks—and like to joke about our “shotgun wedding” after 13 years together. November 18th happened to fit our schedules, and we only realized the coincidence of the date when our justice of the peace mentioned it.

We did have a short period of panic because at the time, Massachusetts was not allowing out-of-state same-sex couples to marry there, and we were still living in New York. The court accepted Helen’s job offer letter as proof of “intent to reside,” however, and let us proceed. Our son, who was three at the time, stood by our sides.

Massachusetts Marriage Ruling

We were also one of the many couples to use a quote from Massachusetts Chief Justice Margaret Marshall’s decision (above) as part of our ceremony. We still view our original anniversary, in the spring, as our “real” one, with the November date being simply the occasion that the state caught up with what we’d known for 13 years. Still, we try to honor the day as a milestone (though not the beginning) of our lives together, because it’s always good to have another reason to eat cake!

However you celebrate today, may it be joyous and full of love.

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