Politicians in Florida are scrambling as a typo in the state’s new “Don’t Say Gay” law is sending the economy into chaos. Mistakenly written as “Don’t Say Pay,” the law now means that all money and payment systems in the state are illegal.
“I went to the grocery store on Tuesday only to find that my debit and credit cards no longer worked,” said Ali Gattor, who lives in Miami. “The clerk told me they couldn’t even take cash because the new law says they can’t force us to … you know. I only needed milk and bread, but I took some ice cream and chips, too. Why not?”
Guests at Walt Disney World were delighted that they could get into the theme park without shelling out a ton of cash. “This is the best vacation ever,” said Reina Bowe, one of a two-mom couple visiting from New York with their son and daughter. “We can get the kids all the Buzz Lightyear souvenirs they want and still splurge on churros.”
Her spouse, Bea Outengaye, added, “We’re going home with pirate costumes and princess dresses for everyone. Arrgh, matey!”
In Tallahassee, legislative spokesperson R. Kayik said that the haste to write the bill caused the error. “Some legislators are indeed concerned about the state’s sudden loss of tax income and tourism revenues,” he explained, “but others are happy they will never have to … you know … another parking ticket.”
Ridiculous? Maybe. But the real “Don’t Say Gay” law (actually titled “Parental Rights in Education”), is not only ridiculous but also dangerous, impacting everyone across the LGBTQ spectrum and our children. And that’s no joke.
For more hard-hitting Mombian news from past April Fool’s, see:
- Lesbian Mom Eats Radioactive Gummy Worm; Gains Superpowers
- Lesbian Moms Create Dome Habitat to Protect Family from Getting Sick
- Trump Announces Key LGBT Appointments
- North Carolina Bans All Bathrooms
- Indiana Bans Cake in Wake of Religious Freedom Bill
- Lesbian Moms Raise Child Entirely on Hummus and Granola
- DARPA Announces Next-Generation Gaydar System
- Lesbian Mom Running for President
- New Social App Helps Lesbians Find Sperm Donors
- New Research Shows Children of LGBT Parents More Likely to Win Nobel Prizes
- Utah Mandates All Children to Be Raised by LGBT People
- “Gay Positioning System” Navigates Roads and Rights